Valuable tips on how to gain and maintain your horse's trust
Trust forms the foundation of interpersonal relationships. Once this foundation of trust is shaken or even completely destroyed, it is very difficult, and in some cases impossible, to continue the relationship on the same special level, if it doesn't break down entirely. Trust is an exceptionally precious gift that must be treated with the necessary care. Trust should also form the basis of my relationship with my horse and be a constant companion throughout our shared journey.
Can prey animals ever gain trust?
As prey animals, horses constantly observe their surroundings very closely and react highly sensitively to external influences. Each of you has surely made the fascinating (and for me, simply anew) observation that in a herd of horses, not all members lie down to rest at the same time. At least one is always assigned as a lookout, ready to raise the alarm in case of an emergency – a predator is stalking them, OR I'm approaching with the garden hose to refill the water trough – and help the others escape in time. This observation is particularly fascinating because the watchful horse, in its protective role, already teaches us something about the nature of trust. It stands there calmly and serenely, providing the others with enough security to rest. They can rely completely on their watcher in that moment.
I've compiled three tips here that I personally consider very valuable for gaining and maintaining your horse's trust. They might also prompt you to examine the level of trust you actually have with your horse. Please keep in mind that nothing works overnight. There's no magic button you can press to instantly conjure trust. This is precisely what makes it so valuable and profound.
So let's talk trust!
Here are my 3 tips to gain your horse's trust:
Tip 1 ★ If you're in a hurry, slow down!
It's in their nature as prey animals that horses are extremely sensitive to their environment. This includes us and our mood . So pay attention to the mindset you bring to your horse and how your mood might affect your time together (both positively and negatively).
Have you often been stressed, annoyed, anxious, insecure, impatient, or distracted lately? Have you perhaps been visiting your horse more often under time pressure because your schedule didn't allow for anything else?
If you found yourself nodding your head a lot and recalling similar negative experiences, it's definitely worth taking a closer look. The time factor plays a particularly important role when it comes to our energy levels.
Here's a tip from my great-aunt:
My great-aunt used to say, "If you're in a hurry, slow down." It's a saying whose truth I only truly understand now. It sounds so simple, and this paradoxical intervention isn't immediately obvious. The moments when we're in a particular hurry and especially stressed are precisely when we should slow down. Why?
Because when we act quickly, we lose our mindfulness, revert to old patterns, and our brain doesn't process all perceptions. We also have an inherent fight-or-flight response. Our stress patterns are essentially fight and flight.
- Meet your horse in your best energy – the very fact that you are aware of your emotions (before visiting the horse!) is a step in the right direction.
- Plan enough time - without time pressure hanging over you, you can enjoy the time in a completely different way and radiate calm, which will give your horse a good and safe feeling and strengthen your bond.
- Prioritize quality over quantity – what matters is not how many items you can tick off your mental to-do list during a visit with your horse. If today there's "only" time for a quick hello, a treat, and a nose-to-the-fluffy coat, wonderful, because quality clearly takes precedence here.
Tip 2 ★ Routines provide security and gain your horse's trust - your horse can count on you!
When it comes to trust, routine plays a crucial role alongside patience, time, and emotion. As a herd animal, your horse is evolutionarily accustomed to certain hierarchies and structures, even demanding them and regularly testing their continued existence. The lead animal sets the direction for its herd and guides it. For your relationship of trust, it's therefore essential that your horse also respects you as the "lead animal" during your time together and can rely on you in this role. Routines are a good way to establish this position and, in the long run, prove yourself sufficiently competent in your horse's eyes. If you still feel very uncomfortable in your position, it's not uncommon for small bad habits to creep in, which unsettle both you and your horse in your respective roles and are not necessarily conducive to mutual trust in the long run.
DANGER
What might be dismissed as cute stubbornness can often be the first sign that something is out of balance in your relationship. In my personal experience, such "little bad habits" include, for example, the refusal to lift the hoof while being picked (which always worked perfectly, but suddenly the weight is seemingly shifted intentionally), the one-sided or mutual misunderstanding that you are your horse's scratching post or rub-off tree (which I also long considered a sign of affection, BUT it can really hurt and should be stopped immediately), or my horse's refusal to stand still as soon as my foot touches the stirrup (you then manage to heave yourself into the saddle in a rather inelegant, hopping manner).
All three examples have a common denominator – a lack of consideration and respect.
All of these can be an expression of the fact that you and your horse are not yet completely on the same wavelength, and also that you are not yet fulfilling your role as the lead animal reliably enough.
Assertiveness, loving strictness and consistency should therefore be taken very seriously by you and be part of your routine.
Of course, the examples mentioned above could also be signs that your horse is experiencing some kind of discomfort. Perhaps its frequent prancing is due to muscle or balance problems. If you have concerns in this direction, please seek advice and support from a professional. In some cases, it's also worthwhile having a saddler take a look at the fit of your saddle. It doesn't always fit perfectly and can cause uncomfortable pressure points. You want to be sure your horse is pain-free before you both start working together.
Perhaps you've already unconsciously developed a certain routine for yourselves. If not, it's never too late to start.
Routine ideas to gain and strengthen your horse's trust
- Make grooming a routine – grooming isn't just about cleaning your horse; it's also a great opportunity for both of you to strengthen the bond of trust. Even on days when you don't expect any physical work from your horse, grooming can be part of your shared routine.
- Give training sessions structure – frame each exercise with treats (or special praise). Give your horse a reward before and after the exercise, so that you mark both the beginning and the end of the session.
- Practice consistency – you want to be a reliable companion and a good role model for your horse. Therefore, it's important to set a realistic goal before you begin training and stick to it. For example, only get in the saddle when your horse is standing completely calm beside you (even if this takes a while).
- Stay on top of things – changes take time to become routine, so you should work on them consistently and maintain them for a while before replacing them with something new.
Tip 3 ★ Groundwork can be a great way to help you gain your horse's trust. Sometimes it pays to stay grounded!
That true happiness is found in the saddle is something almost every rider would agree with. When you dismount after riding, it's nice to feel like you're floating a few centimeters above the ground. However, if there are trust issues between you and your horse, if you're just getting to know each other, or if you feel like you're not making progress while riding, groundwork can be a meaningful and trust-building alternative .
You need little to no equipment, but you should make sure to conduct groundwork in a safe environment for both you and your horse (round pen, riding arena, or indoor riding hall) so that it can't injure itself while playing around. Groundwork can be tailored to your individual needs, making it interesting and varied, which will also capture your horse's attention and make it more receptive to your efforts.
Perhaps you could even incorporate groundwork as a regular part of your weekly routine, alongside riding? :)
My own story of gaining trust with my horses
From my personal experience, I can say that groundwork is incredibly beneficial for building self-confidence. As a young beginner rider, I fell off countless times (and that's no exaggeration). In my weekly riding lessons, I was the one who went flying off the back of one of the large ponies 98.99% of the time. With each fall, my self-confidence diminished, and getting back on became more difficult. Shame and fear were constant companions before and during riding. Furthermore, in the riding school setting, it wasn't really possible to build a trusting relationship with any of the school horses (or ponies) and thus get to know their individual personalities better. There, you were often only assigned to a horse right before the lesson began. The fear I learned there stayed with me for a very long time. Later, when working with our own horses (especially during the initial getting-to-know-you phase), starting with groundwork gave me a great deal of confidence. Both parties are grounded and have the opportunity to meet eye-to-eye. You can practice body language and learn how attentively your horse observes you and how sensitively it reacts to your movements. As always, patience and time are key, don't get stressed, and above all, approach it with enjoyment.
- Groundwork strengthens the trust between you and your horse, as well as your own self-confidence – remember that groundwork should be done in a safe environment to avoid injuries.
- Practice makes perfect – don't expect too much from yourself and your horse right away. One of the great things about working from the ground is that the performance factor takes a back seat.
- Groundwork doesn't require much equipment – bring patience and time so that stress doesn't even arise in the first place.
- Groundwork is interesting, varied and fun – spending quality time together can work wonders for trust.
If you would like to learn more about groundwork or need specific guidance on exercises and equipment, then as a self-confessed bookworm, I can recommend the following literature in addition to internet research:
- Groundwork with horses – Varied exercises that are fun by Sigrid Schöpe
- Groundwork with horses – gymnasticizing horses, training horses and much more! From Horse Compact Knowledge (a collaboration of various authors who share their expertise on different topics)
- If you're interested, feel free to check out the blog PFERDEFLÜSTEREI (Horse Whispering) . There you'll find information on groundwork, including training instructions and tips on equipment, among many other topics. It's also a beautifully designed blog and definitely worth reading!
I hope you enjoyed reading! Perhaps you and your horse even recognized yourselves in some of the tips, or gained some new ideas for spending your time together.
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