Valuable tips on how to earn and maintain your horse's trust
In interpersonal relationships, trust forms the foundation. Once this foundation of trust is shaken or even completely destroyed, it is very difficult, and in some cases impossible, to continue the relationship on the same special level, if it doesn't break down entirely. Trust is a very special and valuable gift that should be treated with the necessary mindfulness. In the relationship with my horse too, trust should form the basis and be a constant companion in our shared history.
Can flight animals even gain trust?
As flight animals, horses observe their surroundings very closely at all times and react highly sensitively to external influences. All of you have surely made the fascinating (for me, simply every time again) observation that in a herd of horses, not all members lie down to rest at the same time. At least one will always be assigned as a lookout to raise the alarm in an emergency – a predator sneaking up OR me approaching with the garden hose to refill fresh water – and to help their companions escape in time. This observation is particularly fascinating because the lookout horse in its protective role already teaches us a lot about the nature of trust. It stands there calmly and serenely, providing enough security for the others to rest. They can fully rely on their lookout in that moment.
I've put together 3 tips for you here, which I personally consider very valuable for earning and maintaining your horse's trust. They might also encourage you to take a look at the state of your trust in your horse. Please keep in mind that no measure can work overnight. There is no button to press to instantly summon trust. This, among other things, is what makes its value and its special depth.
So let’s talk trust!
Here are my 3 tips to earn your horse's trust:
Tip 1 ★ If you're in a hurry, slow down!
It's in their nature as flight animals that horses react extremely sensitively to their surroundings. This includes us and our mood. So, pay attention to the mindset with which you approach your horse and how your mood might affect your time together (both positively and negatively).
Have you been stressed, angry, anxious, insecure, impatient, or distracted frequently lately? Have you perhaps visited your horse more often under time pressure because your schedule didn't allow for anything else?
If you found yourself nodding a lot and recalling such negative experiences, it's definitely worth taking a closer look. The time factor plays a particularly important role when it comes to our energy.
Here's my great-aunt's tip:
My great-aunt always used to say, "If you're in a hurry, slow down." A saying whose truth I only now truly understand. It sounds so simple, and this paradoxical intervention isn't immediately obvious. The moments when we are most rushed and most stressed are precisely those when we should slow down. Why?
Because when we act quickly, we lose our mindfulness, act in old patterns, and our brain doesn't provide all perceptions. We also have a flight mode and a fight mode within us. Our stress patterns are essentially fight and flight.
- Approach your horse in your best energy – just the act of becoming aware of your emotions (before visiting your horse!) is a step in the right direction.
- Allow enough time – without time pressure, you can enjoy the time much more and radiate calm, which will give your horse a good and secure feeling and strengthen your bond.
- Prioritize quality over quantity – what matters isn't how many items you can check off your mental to-do list during a visit with your horse. If today "only" allows for a quick hello, a treat, and burying your nose in their fluffy coat, wonderful, because here, quality clearly takes precedence.
Tip 2 ★ Routines provide security and win your horse's trust – Your horse can count on you!
When it comes to trust, routine plays an important role alongside patience, time, and emotion. As a herd animal, your horse is evolutionarily accustomed to certain hierarchies and structures, even demanding them, and periodically testing their (continued) existence. The lead animal sets the direction for its herd and leads them. It is therefore important for your trusting relationship that your horse also respects you as the "lead animal" during your time together and can rely on you in this role. Routines are a good way to establish this position and prove yourself sufficiently competent in your horse's eyes in the long term. If you still feel very uncomfortable in your position, it is not uncommon for small bad habits to creep in, which can unsettle both you and your horse in your respective roles and are not necessarily conducive to mutual trust in the long run.
ATTENTION
What is often quickly dismissed as cute stubbornness can often be the first sign that something in your relationship is out of balance. According to my personal experience, such "small bad habits" include, for example, refusing to lift a hoof when cleaning it out (it always worked perfectly, but suddenly the weight is seemingly intentionally shifted), the misunderstanding on one or both sides that one is their horse's rubbing post or scratching tree (for a long, long time I considered this a sign of affection, BUT it can really hurt and should be stopped immediately), or my horse's unwillingness to stand still when mounting as soon as my foot touches the stirrup (hopping awkwardly into the saddle).
All three examples have a common denominator – lack of respect and deference.
All of them can be an expression that you and your horse are not yet entirely on the same wavelength, and also that you are not yet fulfilling your role as lead animal reliably enough.
Assertiveness, loving strictness, and consistency should therefore be taken very seriously by you and be part of your routine.
Of course, the examples above can also be signs that your horse is experiencing some form of discomfort. Perhaps its frequent fidgeting is due to muscle or balance problems. If you have concerns in this regard, please seek advice and support from a professional. In some cases, it's also worth having the saddler take a look at the fit of your saddle. It's not always ideal and can cause uncomfortable pressure points. You want to make sure your horse is pain-free before you two start working.
Perhaps you have already unconsciously developed a certain routine for yourselves. If not, it's never too late to start.
Routine ideas to earn and strengthen your horse's trust
- Make grooming a routine – grooming not only cleans your horse but also offers a great opportunity for both of you to further strengthen the bond of trust. Even on days when you don't expect physical work from your horse, grooming can be part of your shared routine.
- Frame practice phases – frame every exercise with treats (or special praise). Give your horse a reward before and after the exercise to mark both the beginning and end of the exercise.
- Practice consistency yourself – you want to be a reliable companion and a good example for your horse. Therefore, it is important that you set a realistic goal before the exercise and enforce it. For example, only get in the saddle when your horse is standing completely still next to you (even if this may take a while).
- Stay at it – changes take a while to become routine, so you should consistently work on them and maintain them for a while before replacing them with something new.
Tip 3 ★ Groundwork can greatly help you earn your horse's trust. Sometimes it's worth staying grounded!
Every rider will probably agree that the happiness of the earth is found on horseback. When you dismount after riding, you often float a few inches above the ground. However, if there are trust issues between you and your horse, you are just getting to know each other, or you feel that you are not making progress when riding, groundwork can be a meaningful and trust-building alternative.
You need little to no equipment, but you should make sure to do groundwork in a safe environment for you and your horse (round pen, riding arena, or indoor riding arena) so that it cannot injure itself when romping around. Working from the ground can be designed individually, interestingly, and variedly by you, which also awakens your horse's attention and makes it more receptive to your intentions.
Perhaps you even integrate groundwork as a regular part of your weekly routine alongside riding? :)
My own story of earning trust with my horses
From my personal experience, I can say that groundwork is incredibly beneficial for one's own self-confidence. As a young riding beginner, I fell off the horse countless times (and that's really no exaggeration). In weekly riding lessons, 98.99% of the time, I was the one who sailed off the back of one of the full-sized ponies. With each fall, my self-confidence diminished, and getting back on became harder. Shame and fear became constant companions before and during riding. Furthermore, in riding school operations, it wasn't really possible to build a trusting relationship with any of the school horses (or ponies) and thus get to know their individual characters better. There, one was often assigned to a horse immediately before the riding lesson began. The fear I learned there stayed with me for a very long time. Later, in dealing with our own horses (especially during the getting-to-know-you phase, of course), it gave me a lot of confidence to start with groundwork. Both parties are grounded and have the chance to meet eye-to-eye. You can practice body language and will learn how attentively your horse will observe you and how sensitively it will react to your movements. Here, as always, patience and time are key – don't let yourself get stressed and, above all, approach it with fun.
- Groundwork strengthens the trust between you and your horse as well as your own self-confidence – remember that groundwork should be done in a safe environment to avoid injuries.
- Practice makes perfect – don't expect too much from yourself and your horse right away. The great thing about working from the ground is that the performance factor takes a back seat.
- Groundwork doesn't require much equipment – bring patience and time with you, so that stress doesn't even arise.
- Groundwork is interesting, varied, and fun – spending quality time together can work wonders for trust.
If you'd like to learn more about groundwork or need specific guidance on exercises and equipment, then as a confessed bookworm, in addition to internet research, I can recommend the following literature:
- Groundwork with Horses – Varied Exercises That Are Fun by Sigrid Schöpe
- Groundwork with Horses – Gymnasticizing Horses, Training Horses, and Much More! By Pferde Kompaktwissen (a collaboration of various authors sharing their expertise on different topics)
- If interested, also take a look at the PFERDEFLÜSTEREI Blog. Here you will find information about groundwork, including exercise instructions and tips on equipment, among many other topics. It's also a very lovingly designed blog and absolutely worth reading!
I hope you enjoyed reading! Perhaps you and your horse even found yourselves in some of the tips or gained some new ideas for shaping your time together.
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About the author
Elisa Pfeiffer
Author STEINKRAFT | Natural Riding Talent | Bristol, UK
Elisa grew up on her father Andreas' farm in Schleswig-Holstein – surrounded by horses, open stables, and everything that goes with it. What others had to learn painstakingly came naturally to her: riding. Today she lives in Bristol, but her connection to horses and the experiences from her childhood and youth in the stable directly flow into her articles.
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